One of the ways your marriage will not add to the rate of divorce in our world today is for you to marry your mate and if you are married already, make your spouse your mate!
You see that statement of “Am I your mate?” does not apply in marriage. You must marry your mate. I will like to talk on six dimensions you and the person you want to marry or you have married must be mate.
1. MARRY YOUR SPEAKING MATE; Marry someone you can speak to and understand. Communication is very crucial in marriage. Don’t marry someone that, when you are saying ‘A’ he or she will be saying ‘ Z’, Once there is a dichotomy in your speaking and understanding level, you can’t enjoy that marriage.
Many men go to bars and other places to hang out with friends and gist till late night because they know their wives can’t engage in any meaningful or intellectual discussion. While several women too will prefer to hang out with their friends, because they know their husband’s mentality when it comes to vital issues. Hence, dialogue in marriage becomes very low. Marry your speaking Mate.
2. MARRY YOUR SCHOOL MATE;
By this I mean, marry someone you can learn together and improve together. Don’t marry ‘Mr. Know it all’ or ‘Miss Know it all’. Don’t marry someone who is rigid and not open to new ideas, new ways of doing things, or new innovations. Marriage is a great institution. From day one till death, you will keep learning. Marry your ‘school’ mate; someone who is ready to learn with you.
3. MARRY YOUR SPIRITUAL MATE: Marriage is not just a social union. It is also a spiritual union. Marry someone who knows the same God you know. Don’t marry someone who’s belief of God is different from yours. Two can’t work together except they be agreed ( Amos 3:3, Joshua 23: 11-15, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18). The spiritual controls the physical, even in marriage. Check for spiritual compatibility in that person you want to marry.
4. MARRY YOUR SPENDING MATE: Don’t marry someone who is stingy. There are so many expenses to cater to in marriage. A stingy guy in courtship won’t suddenly become a generous husband in marriage. Don’t marry a lady that has the financial philosophy of ‘My husband’s money is our money, but my money is my money’. Marry someone who believes in the dignity of labor, who is ready to work, not a lazy fellow who just wants to be a consumer and not a contributor. Marry someone who is ready to spend on the growth and success of the family.
5. MARRY YOUR SEX MATE
Marry someone you have sexual feelings for. Sexual feeling is not a sin. It is an instinct God put in every person. Sex plays a major role in the success of any marriage. Any man you don’t have emotional feelings for, don’t marry the person. If you don’t have emotional feelings for that lady, leave her alone. A spiritual being is also a sexual being. No matter how spiritual you both may be in your marriage, you won’t be praying for 24 hours in a day. You won’t be reading the Bible or worshipping God 24/7. You will have sex! You will romance! You will flirt with each other! You will make babies. So, marry someone you can connect with sexually. It will help you to enjoy your marriage so much!
6. MARRY YOUR SOCIAL MATE: Don’t marry someone you won’t be proud to go out with. Don’t marry someone you will be feeling shy to introduce to people with boldness. Marry someone you are comfortable to hang out with. Marry someone you are socially compatible with. Don’t marry an anti-social person if you are the social type.
You might be wondering if you can find all the ‘mates’ in one person. Yes! The answer is YES! You don’t need to marry 6 guys/ladies to have all these mates. One person can be all that for you. If you also work on yourself and build your life, you can be all that for the guy/lady that will marry you.
The promise of God for you is this: ‘Seek and read from the book of the LORD: Not one of these shall be missing; none shall be without her mate. For the mouth of the LORD has commanded, and his Spirit has gathered them.’ (Isaiah 34:16).
Written by Andrews Doe Morrison
C.E.O of The Marriage Clinic Inc.
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