Understanding your child’s temperament

parenting with skill and understanding (temperament)

Growing up as child with a single parent and staying with relatives, I started feeling a vacuum and emotional needs not been met. This situation even pushed me to resist authority and friendships that almost destroyed my future.

Parents it’s not enough to provide the physical needs of your children but also their emotional needs are equally important, to build and develop a good self esteem.

When a sense of understanding is not built or established between parents and children, and vice versa, communication breaks down.

Parents feel children are resisting their authority and disobeying the rules set in the family and house. Children on the other hand feel rejected and neglected by their parents.

With skills of understanding carefully practiced by parents to handle the peculiarities in their children due to their temperament, the walls of resistance built by our children towards us will come crumbling down, and the walls of rejection and ‘do it my own way’ by the parent will also be broken. 

With knowledge of the temperament(being the combination of mental, physical and emotional traits and attitudes) of our children, we will know how to handle them, teach and lead them with understanding. With this knowledge as a parent, you will know how to handle a choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic and melancholic child with skill.

1. Choleric children- children with choleric temperament are very active and bossy in nature, this makes them resist authority when they know they are not in control.

Children with this temperament become great leaders when handled well and good bullies when neglected. Parents can handle them by establishing and setting clear rules and plans. These plans are to be made known to the child ahead of time, for the child to know who is in charge. Because of their active nature, put them sometimes in leadership roles to raise their self esteem. For example, put them in leadership roles when the kids are playing or doing chores in the house.

2. Sanguinary temperament- Sanguines are very responsive, because they develop a sense of self from their responses to the world and relationships. They are outgoing and social, because they get motivated by seeing, hearing and experiencing everything life has to offer. Since they learn by their mistakes, it sometimes adviceable to allow them make mistakes in other to build a good self esteem. Don’t bash them when they forget, scatter, can’t create an order in their environment and become unreliable, just be there to guide,remind, direct and get them focused. Parents can also help them by adding a little fun to their task and creating an atmosphere of fun.

3. Phlegmatic temperament- Phlegmatics tend to be receptive; always receiving and expecting. My daughter who is a phlegmatic, learns, participate and enjoy when she sits back and watch. She does not want to be interrupted when busy and loves details.

They are fun to be with because they don’t love trouble.

4. Melancholic- They are very sensitive, more vulnerable and dramatic. Because of the sensitive nature of melancholic, they responed most to listening and understanding. They need empathy, validation and recognition of inner pains and struggles. They tend to feel positive when they know they are not alone when they get to know that, their parent challenge is similar to theirs feel encouraged.

Trying to rush melancholy and phlegmatic will create more resistance.

Parenting becomes interesting with skills. Get the right skills to raise your kids, and your home will be place of harmony and you will build self esteem in them. 

Children are from heaven by John Gray, PHD


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